Hatchet Man

Erin bought me a new hatchet, and I'm as happy Paul Bunyan in front of a stack of flapjacks.

She wanted some trees cut down. A neighbor volunteered to be right over with his chainsaw, but I calmly assured everyone that I could make quick work of these trees with my trusty hand saw. It was a male territorial thing.

The saw had served me well in the past, and I expected to need only a few minutes and some elbow grease. I bought the saw a couple years ago to cut down a Christmas tree. It was sharp and very handy. But then I tried using it the other day and it was like it had spontaneously quit. Like every tooth had gotten dull all on cue. I would've had better luck using a butter knife, it just would not make a dent in these trees.

So off we went to the store. I found something between an ax and a handheld hatchet. I wasn't sure to go the saw route or not, but gave this a try to try something new.

I couldn't believe how sharp and dexterous it was. I was tearing through these trees like Zorro. I had them felled and defoliated in moments. In just a swish-swish-swish they were reduced to a pile of fire wood and a pile of leaves for composting. Two chops did all the work that 20 minutes of shared labor on the saw could barely do.

As a teenager, I used to chop up wood for exercise and stress management. I'm not sure what my family did with all the firewood, but my dad often had big logs behind the barn, and I would go out usually with a hammer and wedge to split them up. It was very gratifying work and some serious exercise to boot. Axes and hatchets were frequently on the scene, as well.

My new one has the plastic handle molded over the head. I'm generally a traditionalist and prefer wood handles, but I can't argue with this. I'm surprised I didn't kill myself as a teenager with that ax head flying off the handle so many times. I'd put nails and all sorts of things in there to hold it in, but it would never fail to come off. This new one ain't going nowhere.

I'm thoroughly sore but feeling really, really good.

This is a fine time to find wood around Columbus. Virtually every house has piles of branches in the front from the Hurricane Ike windstorm last week. The city hasn't gotten around to picking it up, yet. Many homes even have neat stacks of freshly cut firewood just sitting out there. I have never seen anything like it. In the country, you may see a "Firewood 4 Sale" sign but I have never seen piles of logs just sitting by the curb waiting for someone to pick them up. Never.

We got two loads in Erin's Scion just driving around the block. I'd toss my hatchet in the back and we'd be off for another wood cutting adventure. The truth is that we didn't have to work very hard to get much of this wood, though. We were like rats in the grain silo. We'd just drive up to a house, pick the choice pieces then go off to the next one.

In a related thought, we removed the leaves from the large pile of branches in front of the house. The line of twisted, bare branches now looks like a World War II-era barricade. After the storm, we dragged the wreckage to the front like the neighbors were doing, but as the days have gone on we have realized the value and started picking out wood, mulch and kindling. We ended up with 3 large piles of leaves to mulch the garden. I wonder how many people will buy fertilizer and yet let the city take away piles of grass and leaves from their yard. I'm composting lots of wood chips and twigs as well, but decided to let some of it go just due to volume. However, if the pile is still there at the end of work today, we may just take the rest of it to the back for keeping.