Getting cancer really changes things. Even if it's cancer-for-dummies like the form of thyroid cancer I have/had.
Things in your body change due to the treatments. It cracks me up that I can barely enjoy a bag of Doritos anymore. My mouth is just too dry from all of the radiation. I normally don't notice the dryness much, but with certain foods it is really apparent. Having to wash down some chips with water just to avoid choking isn't the same. It is actually a blessing in disguise: My multiple bag a week habit was not healthy and I wouldn't be surprised if that were a culprit in the cancer in the first place.
I also have this insane urge to get things done. It is like a surge in my body. Procrastination is a big non-issue. I have this incredible energy to get things done, like the clock's ticking. I have a profound understanding of how short life is, and I want to get some things done before I go. Like the old timers used to tell me: There'll be plenty of time to rest when I'm in the ground.
Is that healthy? Maybe not, but who's going to actually tell someone who has had cancer that to their face?
Exactly. Likewise, I learned this lesson from my husband dying at the age of 32. If a healthy guy can die suddenly one morning while getting out of bed, then that certainly makes me make sure that I take each day as a blessing. There's no time for later... if you want to do something, you gotta do it now.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I cant imagine you without a bag of Doritos either. I remember how you would eat Cool Ranch Doritos for breakfast with milk or orange juice!